Race #24

So, do you just want the bare facts, or should I dress it up a bit? (Sorry, I couldn’t help myself!)

My arrival in Vermont started out a bit surreal. I stopped in a Rite Aid to get some sun screen and shampoo and ran into Paris Hilton. Okay, it really wasn’t Paris but the likeness was good enough to supposedly get the girl mistaken for Paris on a recent trip to Vegas, which she told us about in great detail. Then as she checked out her pack of camel no-filters, she started discussing the upcoming Red Sox game in great detail ala Frank Deford from NPR. I truly wondered what time warp I’d entered.

I tried to prepare myself for the initial “sighting” that I correctly assumed would be at the registration desk at the Coventry Resort (www.coventryresort.com). I was greeted by an upbeat bare chested gal, native Vermonter, who worked the front desk in exchange for her summer membership at the resort. From there I was quickly introduced to Gary and Susan Butts (yes, that is their real name) who are the race directors of not only this race but a series of naked running events (www.nudist5k.com). I have to say, it was a bit hard to make eye contact without doing a quick once over, but I pulled it off.

After checking into my cabin I went back out to the market for food. On the way back to the resort, my nerves kicked in a bit knowing I was going to be baring it all real soon. As soon as I got back to my cabin I stripped down. I figured it was best to acclimate myself a little bit while putting away my groceries in the privacy of my own cabin. I did glance out the window at one point and saw the guy next door who had wisely donned bib overalls to do the weed-whacking around his lot. One thrown stone and thing could get painful.

I packed up my beach bag and headed to the beach. The sun was out so needless to say, I wasn’t alone. I put on my game face (hell, had to put on something I’d already taken off all my clothes) and made a bit of small talk with a few people before settling down on my towel. I have to say it felt great to have the sun melt into my entire body, unhindered by clothes or even a bathing suit.

One of the couples I talked with had been coming to the resort for about eleven years and was around my age. This was definitely a 50 and plus crowd and as this guy told me, they’re just a bunch of good old guys and gals sitting on the beach, soaking up the sun, and drinking cold beer. The only thing different are they do it with their clothes off. And after spending a couple hours out there with them, I realized that’s truly all it is, how neat!

While at the beach I started talking to a guy from Rochester, NY who was there to run the race for the fourth time, he’d been coming since the inaugural race four years prior. He got me a bit nervous about the race when he started describing the mud, hills and bugs.

Race day dawned cool and overcast. About ninety minutes before gun time I heard the race director over the loud speaker getting people psyched up for the race, daring everyone to run nude, giving race information and generally keeping the atmosphere fun. He kept this up for the next four hours! During the race, after the race, he kept up the banter. I could even hear him while I was running through the woody (oops, sorry) part of the race.

I did get the answer to my question, where do you pin the bib numbers? You obviously don’t, they write the number with a black magic marker on your arm, thigh, butt or wherever you want. I got an arm and a thigh and then Sue wrote “50 by 50 Florida #1” all down my back!

The field was it’s largest ever, 65 runners. Most of the people in the race were first time nude runners but almost all of them were serious to semi-serious runners. They lined us up by pace so I was in the back – looking a lot of hairy butts. The first mile was through the resort grounds so though not flat, at least the path was wide and somewhat groomed. I started out behind the only clothed runner which helped make me forget that I didn’t have any clothes on. I quickly found out the race was going to be loud and painful. I’m not bragging, but I think I was the “loudest” female runner on the course – if you know what I mean! I also found out that if I ever need to record the sound of a galloping horse, I just need to run naked and mount the microphone in the vicinity of my chest!

In talking with my Rochester buddy and a couple other runners after the race they pretty consistently reported that they were about 5 minutes slower than their normal road 5k time. I can’t say the same for me. I clocked in at 42.47 a rather weak showing. Between the flopping boobs and muddy, hilly trail I just never got to a good running place.

Though I didn’t place in my division, a minor disappointment, I did get an award and recognition for my 50 by 50 in 50 efforts and for coming the furthest distance to run my first nude race – Wahoo, Run Naked!!!

After the race one guy asked me how long I’d been a nudist. When I responded, “oh about 24 hours,” he was surprised and said, “Wow, you seem so comfortable with this!” Maybe I’ll have to go back next year………………..